


Tarnished Beauty

by thunderstormsablaze



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Angst, Blood, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, M/M, Regret, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderstormsablaze/pseuds/thunderstormsablaze
Summary: Cherry blossoms. So pure, a beautiful pink. Until it becomes tainted with crimson.
Relationships: Ibushi Kota/Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson/Kenny Omega, Nick Jackson/Kenny Omega
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Tarnished Beauty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/gifts).



> Blame DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose for making me become obsessed with Hanahaki.

Nick noticed the flowers first. It started small, as all big things do. A delicate, innocent, harmless cherry blossom. Just a petal of it, coughed up into an awaiting hand. He thought nothing of it, after all he's in Japan with blossoms aplenty. The petal likely the remains of an artfully prepared desert, getting stuck in his throat until he coughed it up. He sleeps peacefully that night, dreams of chasing a blond through meadows of beautiful wildflowers with a childlike innocence. As he wakes and gets up, frantic to get to the next stop on the tour, he leaves behind another beautiful petal. So small, so insignificant he doesn't notice it sitting atop his pillow, the faintest crimson of blood soiling the delicate flower.

It comes to Matt's attention next, a tiny, insignificant fraction of a cherry blossom petal perched on the corner of his mouth. He assumes it's from a falling flower hitting him the wrong way, combining with the wetness of his lips to stick. Unbeknownst to his conscience, he's home in LAX, having arrived merely ten minutes ago from Kyoto, Japan. Were he less jetlagged he may have noticed it wasn't on his lip when he boarded the plane. Were he less jetlagged he may have noticed it was stuck to his lip with a drop of blood. Alas he didn't notice a thing, brushing it aside and letting it float to the ground, stepped on by the passenger behind him. 

Days pass until Nick notices the next petal, a coughing fit as he, Matt, and Kenny walk together as they do most free evenings in Japan. Just talking, taking in the sights and drinking in the presence of one another. He stops, coughing into his hand until the next piece of petal is pushed through his lips and into his hands. Confusion - he doesn't know how it got there - yet it barely bothers him, letting the petal drop as he continues conversing with his brother and best friend. They both look on in worry, but soon the memory fades as they laugh the night away, a small bubble in a large city, full of light, joy, and love. 

Matt's next petal shows up right after a match ends, barely getting backstage before his lips part and make way for a blossom. It confuses him, he has no memory of any flower coming close to his lips. Nick and Kenny come up beside him, exchanging a glance over his bowed head as they watch Matt open his hand, revealing the petal. Nick's eyebrows furrow, recognizing it as the same flower he coughed up; Kenny merely shrugs, assuming it to be nothing. He gives a gentle squeeze to the older brother's shoulder before disappearing into the winding halls of the arena, seeking out his other half. Matt drops the flower to the ground, dust marring it's pristine pink, a sinking in his heart as he watches the blond walk away. 

The following week is full of activity, matches and flights and meeting fans and barely remembering to take care of himself. Nick finally collapses into bed, exhaustion confusing all of his senses. Barely aware of Matt in the bed opposite him, he doesn't even know what city he's in. Which is why the third petal isn't much of a shock, he simply drops it beside the bed, too tired to get up and throw it out. It's not bothersome, it's just a petal. A tiny beauty, insignificant. It must be from a flower knocking against him as he walked back to the hotel in a trance of sleepiness. It never occurs to him that he's in Boston, far from Japan. 

The petals don't cross Matt's mind for a while; he finds them occasionally but knows they must be remnants of Japan. Small tokens of paradise, when The Elite were all together. It's one of the difficulties when the trio works mainly for different promotions, Kenny busy with his singles matches in Japan with him and his brother touring America. It hurts sometimes, barely having any time with his best friend, painful deep in his soul. Especially since they can barely call, time zones being additional barriers they don't need but must endure. So it's always pleasant to find a small bit of tranquility in cherry blossom petals, ones that must have fallen into his things as he traveled. Something to remind him Kenny's not in some fantasy Middle-Earth world, they're still on the same planet. 

The next time Nick coughs up a petal is a few weeks after the last, him, his brother, and best friend sitting on a bench under a tree, eating ice cream together and laughing the night away. Finally catching up after long days apart. A petal appears at the corner of his mouth, a small laugh escaping the blond sitting between the siblings. Kenny reaches up and delicately wipes away the small pink speck, a faint blush rising to the cheeks of the man in question. A smile creeping across his lips, a flutter of his heart. All while a small spark of anger lights in Matt's stomach at the intimacy of their antics, gone as quickly as it came, just too fast for him to register.

Days stretch on and on before Matt coughs a few times, taking a sip of his coffee as he tries to clear his throat. He has to take a step back, leaving Nick with the meet and greet for a few moments while he gets his breathing under control. Once he steps behind a column and out of sight, he coughs more. Two petals drop into his coffee, the faintest tinge of crimson at the edges. They're beautiful in a way, vibrant colors and showing the delicacy of nature. Yet they came from no plant; the only tarnish in their presence. Soon he returns to the booth, smiling and pretending like nothing happened. Unbeknownst to having a speck of blood on his lip, one Nick notices but doesn't mention. Figuring if it was important, his brother would tell him.

Less time passes between the next petal for Nick, he coughs it up as him and Matt sit in their hotel room two weeks later, nursing sore limbs from the match only an hour before. The younger pushes himself to his feet, scrambling towards the bathroom until a stray bag trips him, cast aside earlier that day with no care. He falls next to his brother on the other bed, fighting down the cough until it escapes, propelling a petal into the empty space between them. This one with tinges of crimson at its edges, a faint smell of copper in the air. Worried brown eyes meet panicked blue ones as they look down at the petal, unsure of it's meaning but knowing it can only be the start of something larger. 

Fear worms its way into Matt's stomach, a feeling not present for a while. Normally he's fearless, long since leaving the emotion behind in his life. But seeing his brother have the same symptoms as him strikes fear deep within his soul. Neither know what is to come, yet they know it cannot be anything good. Else they would know about it. Matt hacks up another petal, watching it join Nicks on the bed, the same crimson at the edges, same copper scent filling the air. Nick's stomach churns, terrified for what it means for his brother. 

Later that night, long after Nick fell into the world of sleep, Matt coughs up another petal. Unable to sleep for fear of choking on the flowers, he sits with his phone open. It's idiotic, he knows that, yet he pulls up google and types in "coughing up flowers". He never expected anything to be revealed- anticipating nothing of use to him, nothing to alleviate the pain. But much to his shock, under the Pinterest boards, he finds something. Hanahaki Disease.

Who knew two words could change lives forever, two simple words, the first beautiful in a way, almost innocent were the person unknowing what it was. But the second, one striking fear deep within the souls of the strongest people. Hanahaki Disease. Matt sets his phone down, casting a look at his younger brother, looking so innocent in sleep, the worries of the flowers- the disease gone from his face. Looking like a normal 29 year old should, one without the burden of this disease ruining his life. 

Nick wakes the next morn with petals in his throat, clawing their way out. He hacks up more, three petals dripping crimson. A worried glance to Matt, luckily the older distracted with something, allowing the younger to dispose of the bloodied petals in secret. He knows the furrow of the brow, the way his brother sits, the tap of the pen. Matt is stressed, extremely so. And Nick knows he cannot bring himself to add to the worry. Besides the beautiful petals are merely annoyances, in time they will pass as all things do. 

The paths of the heart are mysterious, something Matt finds out all too quickly. It was his hope the romantic love would be easily there, barely a search of his soul to see who had taken some of it away. Yet there's nothing that comes to mind. Of course he loves deeply, loving his brother with everything he has, but that would never trigger the dreaded cherry blossoms. Familial love cannot do this damage, and he knows Nick loves him back, knows that as well as he knows fish live in the ocean. For such a major thing, he thinks the disease should tell him who stole away his heart. Unfortunately life is never easy, nor is figuring out this disease. 

Unbeknownst to Matt, Nick looked up the flowers as well. Hanahaki. Eight letters. One word. Never does one simple word cause this much destruction. It would be one thing for only him to have it, not ideal but he could live with the peace his brother does not suffer the same shared fate. Yet that relief is nowhere to be found, he saw Matt hack up a blossom and cannot pretend he didn't. They suffer together. But he's going to protect his older brother's innocence as long as possible, not tell him their fate. For it's his turn to protect him from the horrors of the world, a duty he'll take as seriously as Hanahaki. 

A knock on the door startles Nick from his vigil, having taken up watching Matt in an attempt to decipher what weighed on him. He answers the door, letting in a blond whirlwind and a slightly calmer Japanese man, the blond already talking and gesturing around, ranting about possible sketches for Being the Elite. Kota perches on the edge of Nick's unoccupied bed, watching the blond with a loving look in his eyes and undivided attention. Nick finds his eyes drawn to the blond as well, caught up in the rush of excitement. 

Matt starts with looking at the blond, yet his eyes drift to his brother. All of a sudden it hits him, a realization like a truck. He knows the cause of his Hanahaki. How can he be blamed though, Kenny draws everyone to him, like moths to a flame. Kota the lucky moth with flameproof wings; Nick being slowly drawn in closer and closer to the fire with no clue of the danger it brings. Matt has never felt more helpless in his entire life, all of his life dedicated to protecting his brother against the world, yet the world found him anyway. Has his duty as a protector really been that bad? Subjecting Nick to a disease he cannot cure? He always knew there would be a time when Nick had to face challenges alone, but never in his darkest nightmares did he think of anything this helpless. 

Nick turns aside briefly, coughing into his hand and catching three more petals, all stained red, tainted. They subtly get dumped into the trash; avoiding the attention of anyone else. Except a pair of watchful brown eyes. The younger turns back to the blond, his aura intoxicating him and drawing him ever closer. A smile as he looks at the blond, only ruined by a drop of blood on the corner of his mouth, barely noticeable. Kenny too enamored by Kota to notice the blood or the flowers, staring at him with all the love in the world. Matt too distracted by the blond to see the red either, he doesn't know why he's drawn to the ramen haired man but he is. 

Kenny and Kota leave the room, Matt barely noticing, too busy holding back coughs, two blood coated petals entering his hand before dropping them into the trash. Pain stabs Nick's heart, knowing he cannot do anything to help the pain. If only he knew the object of his brother's love, then maybe he would stand a chance in helping him survive. Yet no one comes to mind. Unless… Nick recalls his brother staring for longer than usual at Kenny. And all of a sudden, it hits him as a bolt of lightning strikes a tree. Matt loves Kenny. But Kenny loves Kota. A flash of nausea rushes through him, knowing he cannot do anything to heal his brother.

Nick can't blame him for falling for Kenny, he's special. Magnetic. It was so easy to fall for Kenny he hardly noticed he did. Nick can't remember the first time he looked at the blond with love, yet he knows his face will be the last thing he sees in his mind's eye. Love for Kenny burns with the intensity of a thousand suns, him and Matt caught in the destruction while Kota thrives in it. It surprises Nick that he doesn't resent the Japanese who holds Kenny's heart, the one sending him towards death. He knows it's no fault of Kota's who Kenny choses. He can't even blame Kenny. The heart wants what the heart wants, uncontrollable by even the strongest.

It's a lot harder for Matt than he thought it would be keeping secrets from his brother. He can barely conceal trivial things, even Christmas gifts are a challenge. But this, this is different. Hanahaki. The eight letters destroying their lives. The next months pass, blossom petals slowly growing in number and frequency. At first it was only two or three every week, by the end of the three months seven or eight petals come up every few days. The only light in the darkness was realizing who he loved. He can't remember when he started the love, but it's Kenny. It's always been Kenny. He knew there was a reason for The Elite to work so well, love. 

It's the two of them, eating dinner and trying to avoid Kenny or Hanahaki, not wanting their last memories of life to be sorrow. They find the joy in life, the remaining joy that is. The weight of the eight letters hangs over their heads, a ticking time bomb just waiting to drop. Both having the same love, yet knowing neither have a chance. It's over dessert when Nick turns away, coughing up an entire flower for the first time. Hand shaking, he opens his fist to reveal it to his brother whose face turns ghostly white. 

Fear fills Matt's body, his eyes widening as he shakes, immediately going around to pull his baby brother into a hug. He knows it's only a matter of time before he coughs up his first flower, but he has to be strong. Be the big brother with all the answers, all the comfort. Right then and there he makes it his duty to keep him as comfortable as possible, while he may not be able to get Kenny to fall in love with him and save his life, he can make the last months of his life as bearable as possible.

Nick cries into Matt's arms. He always knew the end was close, that he was living on borrowed time. But he didn't expect to run out of it so soon. His research told him he had at least five more months. The cost of intense, furious love- a reduced sentence. A selfish part of him is glad his Hanahaki is faster than Matts, that he won't have to live in a world without his big brother. Matt's always been there for him, always a constant in his life. That won't change no matter what the disease ruins. He'll always have Matt. 

Over the next few days they both cough up more flowers, Nick with four or five every few hours, Matt not far behind with the same number at the same intervals. Both trying to protect the other from the inevitable for as long as possible, keep the innocence of his brother alive as much as he can. They know the end creeps closer every day, their stolen time running out. But they make the most of it, doing things without a care for the consequence, it's not like they'll be around to face them after all. 

Flowers haunt them, following all their waking moments to even the deepest of sleeps. The crimson of blood, scent of copper, covering everything. By this point even though they both know the other is perfectly aware of the horror of the eight letters, of Hanahaki, they feign innocence. Barely holding onto normality, they can pretend the flowers don't follow them when they're together. Pretend like the crimson of blood doesn't haunt their every breath. Pretend like they have a chance of living past the weekend. 

A beautiful day outside, cherry blossoms in full bloom both outside in Tokyo and inside the hotel room. Nick feels his chest tightening, getting harder to breathe as dozens of crimson cherry blossoms fall into his waiting hands. Matt's face drains of color, knowing what is to come soon. Months of anticipating this event, yet nothing can prepare a man to watch his brother die. He carefully steers Nick to the bed, laying him down and sitting beside him, grasping his hand tight. Minimal comfort in a time of panic and sorrow. His hand crushed with all the strength of a wrestler, yet Matt cannot bring himself to make Nick stop. He knows he needs something to tether him to the world, something to reassure him of his ever fading strength. 

The blossoms come and come, covering the bed with blood stained flowers. Nick's eyes panicked but body stilling, too exhausted to keep fighting the disease wracking him. Trapped, limbs unresponsive to even the most basic commands. It's all Matt can do to not shove his hands into his brother's mouth, to pull the offending flowers from his lungs and let him breathe freely for the first time in months. He hates feeling useless, hates watching his Nick die. His worst nightmares coming true; he has to watch his brother's death. If only he was first. But he waves that thought aside, he must protect his little brother. And if that means giving him comfort in his last minutes, he'll do just that. 

A knock on the door the only warning before a blond whirlwind enters, so reminiscent of the day Matt realized who Nick fell so far for. Kenny wondering why the brothers had been avoiding him, picked the worst of times to come. He sees Nick's panic intensify, knowing the younger doesn't want him there, but Matt doesn't know how to turn Kenny away. Selfishly, he wants one last look at the man he loves before he has to witness tragedy. A hushed apology before looking over at the blond, anguish in every feature of his face. The blond's cheery smile fades to concern and worry, rushing over to the side of the bed, face paler than the sheets before the bouquets of flowers covered them. 

Matt looks up helplessly as Nick's breath gets more and more raspy, the younger looking towards the object of his love and giving a faint smile. Kenny instantly knows what it means, and tears pour down his cheeks. He killed one of his closest friends. He doesn't know what to do, sitting on the bed and grasping his other hand, not caring that the crimson stains his clothes. The tears mix with the blood on the bed as Nick's eyes slowly close, body going limp while his pulse slows to a crawl. He uses the last of his strength to look at the blond, lips barely moving as he croaks out a declaration before the love kills him.

The reaper comes for him, unforgiving and unyielding as Matt screams, shaking Nick desperately, urging him to just open his eyes, wishing it was all a dream. His screams interrupted by a coughing fit, dozens of flowers filling his mouth, his lungs, just like Nick's flowers barely half an hour before. Kenny looks up from the body, wiping away the tears desperately as his face pales further watching Matt. He can't love him in the way he needs to in order to save his remaining best friend.

Matt stumbles, strength giving out as he collapses on the bed next to his brother's body. Throat adding more blood stained flowers to the ones already on the bed as he feels a hand cover his. Kenny looks on in despair, frantically trying to find something, anything to save his life. But all the fighting in the world cannot stop the inevitable, and much more quickly than his brother Matt succumbs to the wrath of the flowers. 

Kenny sits alone in a room, bloody flowers all around him as he looks at the mess he caused. His worst nightmare came to life; he killed his best friends. Sobs pour from his body, unable to stop them as he tries to scrub the memories from his mind, searching for something, anything to take his mind off it. Blindly he reaches for his phone, calling the only one who would be able to hold him together from all the breaks in his soul caused in the past hour.

Stumbling towards the door, Kenny opens it and collapses into Kotas arms, sobbing into his chest as he tries to get some sort of comfort in the one he loves. He loved Matt and Nick dearly, but not in the way they needed to be loved. And he can't get rid of the sight of all the bloody flowers, knowing they'll haunt him for eternity.

It's funny how flowers, so innocent, so pure, can cause such destruction. Cherry blossoms fall outside, walkers by thinking nothing of them, only taking in their beauty. But Kenny knows he can never face them again, never without seeing them stained in blood. Never without seeing his best friend's bodies in piles of them. They fill his nightmares, following him every moment. Constant reminders he killed his best friends, having to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life. Kota helps keep the nightmares at bay, but not even he is enough to patch the cherry blossom shaped hole in his heart.

The Hangman walked past the hall that one night awash with blood red blossoms, glancing at Kenny in Kota's arms and thinking nothing of it. It isn't until he gets to his own room he coughs; in his palm the bright, innocent petal of a cherry blossom. 


End file.
